An Open Letter To The Man Who Blew Himself Up To Feel Whole


I don’t know how you came to that place in your life. Were you born like that? Did someone fail to see that you needed help? Were you made like that? Did someone hurt you so irreparably that you felt the only way to feel vindicated was to bring mass suffering to others?

I don’t know how you came to be in such a deep dark place but I do know this… if you had grown a tiny person within you, sheltered that vulnerable little bundle of precious cells with every fibre of your body making only the very best choices to ensure their safety and nurture. If you had then felt immeasurable pain bringing that little soul into the world, a world so full of danger that every part of you wanted to scream with panic and fear at what could go wrong. If you had then given yourself so fully and completely day and night for years and years ensuring that this tiny little person whom you love, more than you ever thought it was possible to love anything, is happy, safe and well.

If you had experienced just a tiny part of those feelings, those all-consuming feelings of love then you would surely never have found any cause so important that you could destroy so many journeys like the ones above – in the cruellest way possible. To rip away those beautiful little souls from the people who made them and loved them so dearly, to tear away the parents whose souls purpose in life was to shelter and protect. To destroy and blast into the abyss so many hearts, bodies and futures…. it is hard to imagine that you were ever human at all and that our species can be so unbelievably cruel.

You see the thing is, there is no after-life like the one you imagine and if there is, destroying precious innocent life is no way of entry – I am convinced of that.

Life is actually about love, and not much else. We are here to love and procreate and love some more before our time is up.

So when you destroy lives in this hideous way, you are actually reminding us even more to love, right here, right now and enjoy and be grateful for every fricking minute that we have.

I don’t think that was your plan.


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