THE THING ABOUT DEATH IS, IT’S SO VERY FINAL…

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THE THING ABOUT DEATH IS, IT’S SO VERY FINAL…

You all know that already right?

But until recently, I didn’t have a clue what final truly meant.
Until recently, final meant the last exams, leaving a job or the end of an era. A chapter closed and a new one opened.

Until recently final meant something very different. It was always followed by something else.

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The true meaning of ‘final’, will hit you like a tonne of bricks when it comes your way.

It means never.

NEVER again will you hold that hand or hear that voice.

Never again will you have a conversation or a walk, or eat your favourite things together.

It means that there is nothing else.

Nothing.
Never.
Final.

I think it’s the shock of this revelation, that causes grief to hurt so much and last so long. We get through the funeral on adrenaline somehow, in a bubble.The weeks pass and it’s then, in the quiet of normality, that the meaning of death hits you hard.

It is the end.

Nothing follows it.

That person is gone. Over. No more. Missing. Missed.

It hurts like nothing else.

There is nothing you can do to lessen that pain, truth be told, but you can do something to make final feel less, well, final

You can talk about them.
Talk to them.
Tell their stories.
Share their photographs.
Use their things.
Follow their advice.

You can make sure that the ESSENCE of that person whom you loved so very much doesn’t die.

There is a comfort in knowing that life can physically take away a person, but it cannot remove their footprints from the earth and from your hearts.

It cannot remove their memories or their legacies.

It cannot remove the wisdom they shared whilst alive.

And that, my grieving friends, is a job that you can do now.

You can make sure this happens for the person you are missing so badly.

It feels better somehow, doesn’t it?

Death may be the most final thing we can endure but love is infinite and ever-lasting.

That’s why it hurts so much.

THE THING ABOUT DEATH IS, IT’S SO VERY FINAL...Donna Ashworth

LPIO 2018

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