Women supporting women/ for Caroline/ be kind

When I first started Ladies Pass It On…

Advertisements

I put myself out there as the ‘face’ behind the page. Mostly because I wanted it to succeed so badly and I believe a personal connection works best.

I’m not the most confident of people, I come across very confidently ‘in real life’ but actually I am beyond sensitive and so very easily hurt (probably why my writing resonates), so this was already a disaster about to happen.

And it did.

I was trolled. Mercilessly in one instance by a woman (I think) who was able to anonymously email my site and leave the nastiest comments you can imagine. I deleted every one, they never made it online for anyone else to read, so she knew these messages were only for my eyes and yet she continued. That somehow made it even more chilling.

She was mean. She started to bring my marriage and my kids into it which made me feel so vulnerable as though she knew me but I guess social media makes us all ripe for the picking if you know where to look.

My wonderful friend Marc who created my beautiful site sent his team to work blocking her wifi but she would log into public places and that was her deal.

It was stressful. I would get over it, then wake up to a new message in my inbox that made my heartbeat speed up and my skin go cold.

Eventually we silenced her, then a few weeks ago, bam. There she was. Instant dread. Was it even the same person? I don’t know and I never will, this is the nature of putting yourself online, you are unable to hide but they can.

So, my point is, within months I removed myself from the page, no traces left. I stuck to writing anonymously and I was able to gather followers anyway, which I’m so grateful for. 

I just could not cope with the awful feeling of opening my emails and holding my breath to see what vitriol would be there next. 

I was ugly, 

I was haggard, 

I was a terrible writer, 

I was a joke to everyone,

I was a bad mother, 

I was a fake, 

I was in a bad marriage, 

My kids names were pretentious, 

I was a laughing stock,

I was my husband’s second best, 

I was oblivious to the fact my friends all hated me. 

Just an example…

And all because I set up a little page on facebook.

Can you even imagine what celebrities are dealing with every minute of every day?? Sure they have the money, the fame, the bonuses to go with but the feeling of strangers knowing things about you and using that to tear you down is something I can’t explain.

This woman went to such lengths to bring me pain, blocked so many times but figuring out ways to get through. She spent years silently hounding me. 

Little old me who is not famous. Why??? 

She never ever got a reaction from me, I simply deleted and moved on. 

Imagine if she was just one of hundreds.

Thousands.

We, as a nation, can do better than this.

We can start a movement where people who do this kind of thing are taken to task, tracked down and charged. 

It’s not ok.

It’s gaslighting.

It’s psychological torture and if it’s coming at someone from a million different angles, it must be hell.

I started this page because I love women, I love fierce female friendships that are strong and powerful and can handle anything together. How ironic that she would target me.

I take my hat off to anyone who deals with this on a daily basis, they deserve the glamour, the money and the spoils. 

Oh they really do.

So, if you have followed my page for a while, thankyou. You are exactly the women I hoped to attract when I began and I have felt your support so strongly.

If you are new, welcome. You are in a safe place on social media.

Advertisements

Help me make it safer and spread the love farther.

It will create ripple effects that will have so much power.

Trust me.

So, we are here to support each other in the dark times, laugh in the good times, encourage in the sad times and guide through the confusing times.

I became very brave thanks to your support, I even shared my eldest’s son Autism diagnosis and you were all so wonderful. I wont forget that.

Thank you.

Let’s be the change we want to see ladies, right here, right now.

We got this.

Women supporting women/ for Caroline/ be kind

Donna Ashworth

Image credit: Moon Sisters

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Woman asleep on moon illustration

You’re Not Imagining It…

You’re not imagining it, nobody seems to want to talk right now.Messages are brief and replies late.Talk of catch ups on zoom are perpetually put …

Read on
CHARLES MACKESY DRAWING

ONE DAY

Today, I dared to let myself dream,That the world will one day open again.That the locks will loosen, the walls will fall,The doors will fly …

Read on
E5C99ACC-5066-4BA7-8EFB-A10F8E0AF772

Dear Mums, In Lockdown…

Dear Mums, Please remember one thing on your list of 400 today..You are not a teacher. You are a parent.You’re not home schooling, you’re ‘crisis’ …

Read on
3FF7A105-85E8-4A36-99F2-70A3706B54AD

One Day, An Army Of Furious Older Women Will Take Over The World…

One Day… An army of furious older women will take over the world. And I want to be there at the front. Because one day, …

Read on
D2635D9C-7D5E-4BEB-8D81-4D89D676FEA8

BE THAT WOMAN

Be the kind of woman you want to call when things go wrong. Be the motivator, the encourager of dreams. Be the kind of fierce …

Read on
70281B98-273C-4390-9AC4-0CA3A60BD6C7

YOU DID YOUR BEST TODAY

YOU DID YOUR BEST TODAY You did what you could. You could have done more – possibly. You could have done things differently – sure. …

Read on
83306544-A432-462B-B43E-AEEB4CC437E5

TO OUR DAUGHTERS

TO OUR DAUGHTERS 🌟 You were born made of softness, sweetness and love, but with a will so strong it could bend iron – despite …

Read on
521368950045

When You Say Goodbye To A Parent

When you say goodbye to a parent. You are suddenly living in a whole new world. You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of …

Read on
Illustration of mother and child Maggie chiang

Tomorrow I Promise To Linger…

  You’ve closed your bright eyes now my darling,You’ve given your all to this day.And now that you’re sleeping so soundly,There’s so much that I …

Read on
43A58A84-E316-4DAE-B5EC-D0C896965286

DEAR FRIEND, I’M SORRY FOR BEING SO BLOODY RUBBISH

Dear Friend, I am sorry for being so bloody rubbish. But you see, life moves really – REALLY – fast. From the minute I open …

Read on
IMG_1068

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE ORDINARY

Teach them to love the feel of a hug. Teach them to spot the sadness of a friend. Teach them to understand the power of …

Read on